If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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