just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
This is the high leading the old right now
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
