I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
