Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
