i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
