i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
