allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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