Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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