yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
accomplished twins. life is a go
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
whose parrot is this?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
