Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
