Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
