You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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