I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize