For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
