My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it was like eating out sand paper
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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