So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
