I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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