i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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