You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
