she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
