Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
