I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
