my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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