Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
