you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Sorry my hands just texted you
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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