were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
