Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
