just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
