Umm I'm too high to move.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
