god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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