if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
