i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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