margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
