glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
