I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
