why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
