I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So apparently I’m into choking now
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
