she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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