Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
