I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
