Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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