oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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