I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
handjob tips. give me some.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
