i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
