i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
