office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
