Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
