That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
