He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
