we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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