lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
