i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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