Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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