You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize