i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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