We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
