Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
